Once More, With Feeling!

Okay things are gonna get a bit sentimental here. I’m not the best at putting my heart onto a piece of paper…or…a word document…and I don’t really like writing this kind of thing to begin with, so let’s see how this goes.

I’m writing this now because it’s the most appropriate time to discuss it. Today is the first day of my final semester at uni. In three months, I’m going to be moving on with my life. And that’s absolutely frightening. It’s only an Arts degree with a major in writing, so I’m more than a little worried about the future. It’s a pretty big world out there, and soon I’m going to be diving headfirst into it.

I’m terrible at thinking about my future. I avoid it as much as possible. And in that regard, I also find it difficult to think about dreams or goals, because it all seems so scary. So I’m just going to put this out there and start praising the people around me, because I know what I’d love to do with my life.

There’s some real power behind actually saying something. Having it mull around in your head for a few weeks or months just doesn’t work as well. Sometimes I think about what I want to do with myself and it all comes down to ‘yeah, that would be cool I guess’. But saying it out loud (or, putting it in a blog post) carries a lot more weight. I’ve told a few people about it lately and it’s changed my perspective a little. It makes the dream seem real.

Dramatic pause.

I want to be a games journalist.

The more I dwell on it, the more I think that it’s the most obvious path for my future, although maybe even if it’s going to be hard to accomplish. I love writing, and I love gaming. Why not combine the two? I’ve dabbled in writing about games for a while, to various successes. Mostly, it’s been a way to keep me writing in university breaks, to keep me active. But in the past year or so I’ve found a lot of inspiration that’s sort of driving me now.

I think Australian gamers are really spoilt in some ways. Our games are a lot more expensive than in other regions, sure, but we have some brilliant journalists and writers covering that topic. Maybe it’s a bit smug to say, but I think Australian games journalists are amazing, and they cover so much in so many ways. From Mark Serrels at Kotaku and Tracey Lien at Polygon/The Verge, to ‘Bajo’ and Hex’ on Good Game, to the editors of the Australian GameInformer, to the crazy cool writers David Rayfield and Tristan Damen I follow on Twitter, and everyone in between*. There’s so much great content there, everyone has their own style, and best of all you can tell they’re putting their hearts into their work.

I have a lot of respect for these people. Their ability to be thought-provoking and genuine at the same time is something I want to replicate. I want to be able to be that passionate about something I do. And even if it’s a pipedream, I want to work toward it. If this blog helps out with that in any way at all, even if it’s just giving me practice, then I’ve succeeded, and that makes me pretty damn happy.

That inspiration isn’t just drawn from the big players out there, though. I’m thankful to have a lot of friends who’ve been pushing me in their own way, whether they know it or not. So thank you, friends who are too numerable to name here. I feel more driven than ever to do something with myself. August is going to be pretty exciting. There’s a few things lined up that are going to be a lot of fun. My courses this semester are all really writing focused as well, with a very strange emphasis on film studies that I never would have seen myself doing three years ago. But hey, that’s awesome in its’ own way.

If you managed to make it this far without rolling your eyes and closing the page, thank you. It feels good to think that some of these things are no longer hiding in my head.

*Also, there’s this chick named Jugsy McMelons who did an interview with Jennifer Hale once. Yeah she’s alright I guess.